She did not know what it was that made her get up at that precise moment. She had been lying on her bed listlessly for quite some time. The pillow was wet with her tears. Why, why had he said that?? She could not get it out of her mind. How could he think that of her?? Is that what he thought of her?? She wanted to talk to him about it. She wanted to ask him about it. But she knew that she would start crying and he didn’t like that. I will not talk about it, she thought. Let it remain buried in my heart. Yet the thought only brought on more tears. She wanted so much to ask him. She loved him so much. She could not bear anything to remain unsaid between them. On an impulse she got up. When she did, she found the lights on her cell flashing. She had put it on silent mode last night not wanting anyone to wake up lest he called. She stretched her hand now, took it and looked at the number flashing. It was him. If she had gone on lying there she would have missed his call.

“Hello...” she said.

Her voice was subdued. There was a lump in her throat and it threatened to choke.

“Hello.” he replied, “Good morning”

“Good morning” she whispered back. She daren’t raise her voice. She did not want him to know that she had been crying. He always knew though.

 “How are you??” he asked

“I am ok” she replied in a low voice.

“Is someone there??”

“No”

“Your voice is so low.”

“Yes,“ she managed to whisper. The tears were gathering.

“What happened to your voice??” he asked.

She remained silent, struggling, trying her best to stem the tears that threatened to flow.

He knew that ominous silence.

“Darling, why are you crying??” he asked.

Now she could not stop them any more. She cried as silently as she could, not letting a sound escape her lips, not daring to say a word. All the same she knew that he knew.

“Darling, what’s the matter?? I was unable to call you yesterday...” he said.

“It’s not that!” she cut in.

She could hold herself back no longer. She was sobbing now. She knew it hurt him to listen to her crying like this. But she was helpless. Though she promised herself that she wouldn’t cry when he called, the love in his voice opened the floodgates each time she was depressed. He was all she had, her only hope, her dream, the one she loved with all her heart.

“Then what is it??” he asked. “Tell me.”

“You misunderstood me. How could you say that is what I meant??” she managed to say in between sobs.

There was silence for a few seconds as he realized what she was talking about. He had been under a lot of pressure lately and had been abrupt with her when they talked the previous night. He knew she had been hurt, but not to this extent. He tried to recall what he had said.

 “You accuse me of things I have not even thought of,” she said in between more sobs.

He was silent, letting her speak her heart out. He knew it had been weighing on her mind the whole night and now the dam had burst.

“You know something?? You are cynical, that’s what you are!” she sobbed, stating the obvious. “You see motives everywhere. I am not like that” she said emphasizing the ‘not’ vehemently. Why hadn’t he understood that even now??

That was the glaring difference between them. He was cynical. She was not. There were other differences too. He said he was happy go lucky yet he was careworn. She carried lots of scars but she was optimistic. He looked for happiness. She believed in being and creating that happiness. He was stoic. She shed tears at even a hint of his indifference and soared in ecstasy just as easily at a word of love. He generalized, ‘Women are like that.’ It stung her because she spoke only of a specific issue. He assumed the worst. She waited patiently for him to clear something she did not understand. He did not and kept his mind locked from her. She opened her mind and its workings wide open for him. He hid his feelings from her. She wore her heart on her sleeve, for him. In spite of these differences they were so similar in a strange way.

Her tears started afresh as she remembered his words. He listened patiently as she went through their conversation the previous day. She asked him, her heart breaking, why he jumped to conclusions for no reason. Anything she said he just assumed was to drive home a point. It hurt her to think he doubted her motives when she was so open with him. She loved him, wanted to be free with him. But this nature of his was putting limits on her free expression, her spontaneity.

Now she felt she had to pick and choose her words. Why didn’t he understand that it would ultimately be to their detriment?? It was his best bet to drive her away forever. The shell looked so tempting. From behind its fibre glass window she could watch the world like she did before she met him and never be involved. Its comfort beckoned her invitingly. Crawling back would be difficult after the joy she had known with him. But did she have an option now??

His voice cut in through her thoughts.

“Ok, so it was a mis-understanding. Right??” he asked. “Doesn’t that happen sometimes between people who love each other??”

She remained silent, crying.

“Tell me, doesn’t it??” he repeated.

“Yes” she whispered.

“I am not always right you know. I can be wrong too,” he said and added, “I love you darling.”

Fresh tears coursed down her cheeks when she heard that. She replied,

“I love you too”

“Well, does anything else matter??” he asked.

“No” she whispered. “Nothing else matters….”

“Then go and have something to eat,” he said. “I know you have not had anything.”

“Yes,” she said in a soft voice.

“I love you darling…I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yes, I love you too...” she said as she wiped her eyes and rang off.

The weight had lifted. She felt light.