“You’ve a lovely nose!” he said to me one day a good many years ago..

I wrinkled my nose and tried to look down it to see what was so good about it. Having never heard anything about my nose from anyone all of my twenty four years (for that had been my age during the time), this was news to me. I had heard a lot about my long hair from a lot of people, but nothing about my nose, never ever!! It was just a nose as noses go as far as I was concerned. I had never given it a second thought up till that moment when my better half had came up with the compliment.

“You have a lovely nose!”

Hmm… I was skeptical and looked at him doubtfully. He was not pulling my leg, was he??

“What do you mean ‘lovely nose’?? You are joking!!” I told him.

“Of course!!” he said, “You do have a lovely nose. Nice shape.”

I was secretly thrilled. Which brand new wife of hardly a year wouldn’t be?? I walked to the mirror and checked out my nose. I turned left and right and looked at it from different angles. Nothing spectacular. Nothing to give Cleopatra a complex anyway. It was just a nose!! The same I had been seen sticking out of my face for the past twenty-four years. But if my husband thought it looked good it must be good. I decided, pleased.

Now a word about my better half, my Lord and Master. He is more than six feet tall and well built. I call him my ‘Giant Teddy Bear’ I stand all of five feet tall and at the time this conversation occurred, must have weighed around 42 kgs. I have grown with the years and become a heavy weight, leaving behind those years of being a featherweight The problem with the Giant is that, he does not know his own strength. If he is in a hurry, which he always is anyway, and I am standing in his way, he’d shove me aside and almost topple me over. Many is the time I have looked reproachfully at his retreating back. Wasted of course. He has no eyes at the back of his eyes to see that oh-so perfect reproachful look. So I did the next best thing. I added, “Hey you pushed me!” to the reproachful looks. That got his attention alright!! He would turn back puzzled.

“I pushed you??” he would ask. “When??”

“Right now!” More reproachful looks. “when you walked past.” Hint of tears in the eyes.

“Of course not!” he would say indignantly. “Would I ever push you??” Horrified look.

“Whatever for??” Questioning look.

“But you did push me!” I stand my ground.

He tries to recall and then says, “Oh you mean when I gently shoved you aside to make way??”

Gently my left and right foot!!

“It was not gentle!!” I say. “And this is not the first time either. You push me all the time and I almost fall!!”

“Of course I don’t mean to make you fall!!”

“You don’t know your own strength!!” I remind him.

He is unconvinced.

“Better be careful next time!” I warn him.

Sigh!! It took many more such reminders before my Giant learnt that he really didn’t know his own strength. You see he never really believed me. He shakes my hand and my bones nearly break. He says he will oil my hair and I am surprised that at the end of it I have any hair left!! He massages my leg and my skin burns. If I tell him about all this, he is nonplussed and the soft-hearted man he is, he is hurt. ..And then one day he pushed me aside one more time, while walking past and saw with his own eyes, me toppling over and valiantly trying to prevent myself from falling.

At long last, the truth dawned on him.

Now what has all this got to do with my nose?? Good question!! Let me get to that now.

It’s all very well to admire your wife’s nose. He not only does that but now and then affectionately, well, I hope it had been affectionately says that he would box it out of shape. Now what happened one fine day about ten years into our marriage??

It was holiday time and we were getting ready to go on our annual visit to our hometown down south. Our train was to start at 6 pm. It was noon and the packing was almost all done. Only some last minute work was left. Lunch would be brought from the Officers’ Mess. It was then that the orderly came to announce that there was a visitor. L & M, who was doing some last minute work, wass in his vest. He quickly grabbed a shirt and walked down the corridor slipping it on. He is a man-in-a-hurry at all times. I was standing next to the phone in the corridor while he was walking past. He had slipped his hand into one sleeve and brought that hand down. In went the other hand and down it swung, the elbow going ‘thud’ right at my nose, the lovely one at that!!

Stars exploded in front of my eyes even as my horrified husband turned around worried and solicitous. My eyes were watering. The pain was terrible!! And there was my Giant asking ‘n’ questions as to whether it hurt (what a question!!) how I was feeling, how had it happened, why I had been standing there, could he do something etc etc, when all I wanted was some quiet to absorb the pain. Finally, I nodded and said I was ‘ok’ and off he went to meet his guest, while away I went in to wipe the few drops of blood and also anxious check to check in the mirror if he had really kept his word and hit my nose out of shape. Oh my lovely nose!! A look in the mirror revealed that its shape was still intact. Phew what a relief!! After all hadn’t the Lord & Master been a boxer??

The outcome of this little incident is that I am extra careful around him. I shield my nose with my hands if I am in the vicinity of his elbow and quickly move away to a safe distance. Of course, I tease him mercilessly that the whole thing had been a stage managed affair.

“You did it on purpose!!” I accuse him. “You are jealous of my nose.”

Poor man!! He has to live with it.